Seven Stupid Things I've Read Online

These are all things I've come across online, either in articles, emails, or even Ebay descriptions. I have all sorts of these things up on the wall in my office, because they make me smile...

1. An email about a bus driver who, according to the complaint, only thought he had the "right away" This is one of those very appropriate errors, because in fact he probably did think "Hey! Get out of the way; I need to turn, right away!!" and it had nothing to do with whether he in fact had the Right of Way.
2. An online article about a man who broke into a park ranger's home and stole his uniform and his "fun." I know I HATE it when people steal MY fun...but I didn't know it was criminal.
3. A "chain" email that said this guy was "in fatal condition, but now has been upgraded to stable critical." Wow, pretty remarkable fellow to be upgraded at all from dead...
4. Found when trying to determine when an item I'd purchased would be delivered: "Please note: shipping status may not be available until the item has been delivered." Somebody please explain how it could possibly be useful to me to know when the item has been delivered, AFTER it's been delivered.
5. From seller's information about paying for an item: "I ONLY ACCEPT PAYPAL. However, ....I can also accept money order or checks." Evidently he has a different definition of the word "only" than I do.
6. From a survey letter: "Your number was picked at random using scientific methods." So, does random become More or Less random when done scientifically?
7. From an online ad: "Sell your home for as little as $1,000" I know the housing market has tanked, but good grief!! What they really meant that you could pay as little as $1,000 in realtor fees, etc to sell your home.

Feel free to add your own observations of stupid things you've read online!